“Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum: Habemus Chevrolet!”

After a couple of weeks of tossing names into a hat – and then tossing the contents of that hat into the trash – I came up with a name for my new-to-me 2017 Chevrolet Malibu.

Specifically … this guy.

And trust me, naming your car is more important than naming your firstborn. The name has to denote and signify equal levels of importance and sincerity and affection. And it also has to reflect dignity.

That being said, I went through a few dozen names. Portmanteaus with the suffix “-mobile” on them. Nah. Unless I’ve got Robin the Boy Wonder riding shotgun, naming this car any sort of “-mobile” is off the table.

It’s a black car – I thought of car names with the prefix “Black-” for a while, but that too felt kinda iffy. I’m not one to take someone’s name in vain, and naming the car “Black” anything didn’t work. Plus, I already had “The Blackbird” three cars ago.

I looked the car over. It handles well on the road. it’s comfy. It’s smooth. It almost feels like I’m the lead car in a Presidential motorcade.

Wait a second.

What’s the Presidential limousine’s nickname?

The Beast.

No. I’m not driving a Beast.

What about the other vehicles of transportation for the President?

Air Force One?

Maybe.

Let me play with this. Air Force One. Strike Force. Delta Force. Mega Force. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force.

Nice to see that the “YouTube Music Video on Command” filter still works on this blog. 😀

Something Force One. Chuck likes this.

Keep at this. Something Force One.

And then it came to me like a fastball to the brain.

I hereby christen this car … Chuck Force One.

It’s got personality, it’s got strength, and it’s a balls-to-the-wall nickname for a strong General Motors sedan.

So let’s make it official. I’ve now created a category on the blogroll that will encompass all blog posts that relate to this 2017 Chevrolet Malibu Hybrid as “Chuck Force One.”

Look, it was either that or I was going to go to my backup choice. Bofa Deez Nutz.

I mean, it’s not like it wouldn’t be the first horse-powered mode of conveyance with that name.